What have you been up to these past 8 years?

So this last week has been the biggest learning curve. We have been handed a boatload of information and resources and the understanding that the decisions that we make soon will impact the rest of my life. No pressure there huh? Since this week has been all about information gathering I will attempt to regurgitate what I now know. If at any time any of you has questions I’d love to hear them. Many people have asked questions that I don’t know answers to but should so I ask doctors. It helps! Also, please bear in mind that this is not my private struggle with festering back-alley facial piercing! I am NOT ashamed of this. I didn’t do anything to get this. I am not a private person. Anything you want to ask or talk about I am open to it.

OK OK. Down to business.

J and I went to see Dr. Hudson who is a surgeon Monday morning for a consult. He was a very nice man who liked to draw pictures of what he was talking about. we will all benefit from this as I have ghetto-scanned them to share with you.

This is an image of my breast with cancer as rendered by Dr. Hudson. The bubbly bits at the end of the tube are the lobules (milk producing regions) The tube is the duct. Lobular carcinoma (the one I have) is the second most common breast cancer behind ductal carcinoma. The nipple is the squarish thing at the top and the circular bit with the squiggly spot is the cancer. Actually the squiggly bit is the cancer. The line is something different that we’ll get to later.

If we turn this image on it’s side we can clearly see that it is a sad fish. Moving on…

Here is a sort of scary shot of the cancer itself.

The top right is an image of the lobule and how the cancer develops inside of it. Since it is invasive or infiltrating cancer cells can then break free of the lobules and are potentially carried around in my lymphatic fluid. Here’s were the lymph nodes come in.

The lymph nodes act as screens or filters for all of the fluid passing though them so at the time of surgery (whichever I choose and the topic an upcoming post) they will also excise some lymph nodes in my armpit to see if those cancer cells have begun to infiltrate. This will inform the use of Chemo and other drugs later. I mostly wanted to post this picture as proof that these pictures are not to scale. Case in point, I do not have that grow wing thing going on thank you very much!

The most amazing thing that I learned about this little free-loader so far is that it has been  growing in me and feeding off of me for 8 years. That’s right, e-i-g-h-t YEARS! What the fuck? So when I was fresh out of college and starting my big-girl job, looking forward to a long and happy life (that hasn’t changed) this little shit was taking hold. So knowing the relative slowness of the growth and movement of it really makes me feel ok about taking the time I need to really research the surgical and chemical warfare techniques I am going to be most comfortable with. And believe me, we are up to our ears in that.

Jake has been so great about this for me, for us really. He has come to all of my appointments so far and is an excellent listener even when I am going cross-eyed. His strength along with the strength, wisdom, hugs, flowers, assorted tubed fermented meat products, cards, well wishes, mentoring, success stories from survivors…. All of it is gonna get me through this. I can’t say it enough times. THANK YOU ALL.

OK that’s enough for now. I’m off to spend the day with some lovely ladies and get a big tattoo in Portland.

Just for fun I’ll leave you with this. Come on all you creative types. Give me your best!