Alright so my double mastectomy happened on Monday. We got to the hospital at about 8 am and went promptly to nuclear medicine so they could make my sentinal lymph node visible by gieger counter (!) From there it was right into surgery. I am told it took about 5 hours but went very well. The first night in my hotel room was pretty rough as the pain meds they gave me made me real nauseous and pukey. Once that issue was sorted I was able to rest a little. I had a catheter in for that first night into which I peed bright green! I am told that the radioactive dye they injected was blue, mix that with yellow pee and there you go.
I have a pain pump that is administering meds directly to my incisions. I also have these plastic bulbs that look like grenades that are collecting fluid from each of my incision sites. These along with the insulin pump and IV are a mighty lot of crap to have hanging about my body.
The pain goes from a tolerable 3-4 (scale of 1-10) where I am now, to an excruciating 7-8 where I was last nigt after forgetting to self administer my pain meds. A mistake I’ll not likely ever repeat. When it is under control there is still a sort of dull ache in my armpits and along my ribs. This must be where they lifted up my muscles to put the implant spacers in.
I am wrapped very tightly in a layer of gauze and then in ace bandages so I have no idea what’s going on under there and won’t for a few days.
Today, with lots of help I got to have a little shower. Jake made sure all of my exposed bits got a good scrubbing. My mom and sister even washed my hair which just felt divine. Yes, it took 3 people to wash me. Thats how smelly I was!
So far, the hardest part emtionally has been just how physically needy I am right now. I have trouble getting in and out of bed and going to the bathroom. I cant itch my own back or pull up my socks. I hate this. I am so grateful to all who are helping me but I sure wish I didn’t need it. Every minute it seems to get a little better though and on the really bright side my room is positively overflowing with candies and flowers and love. So much love.
I’ll try to write more when I’m not so dopey. Just wanted to keep you all in the loop.
Over the humps
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Well fuck, it's breast cancer 
We are with you and listening and keeping you in our prayers…even though we don’t know the “right” words to say, we are wishing we could be there to hug and hold you.
Posted by Erin | October 24, 2013, 1:43 amYou are an amazing and inspirational young woman. This shit ain’t a got a chance with you!!! Much, much love!!! I’ll make inappropriate jokes later, when laughing won’t hurt. 😘
Posted by MarkliAnn Johnston | October 25, 2013, 5:27 amYou are a brave human being and I am glad that you are surrounded by love. I will keep you and yours in my prayers tonight as I have all nights since you went in for surgery Uncle Jerry. Peace.
Posted by Jerry Miller | October 24, 2013, 4:05 amYou are truly a strong woman. your personality comes thru for anyone who reads your comments on your own progress. what a strong & beautiful outlook you have. we can hardly wait to get the opportunity to hug you bunches.
Posted by jack Sellers | October 24, 2013, 4:17 amNo flowers from here, but tons of love and little thing to arrive soon. Just enjoy the loving hands that feel good and try to tolerate the medical hands that care, but don’t always feel so good… Hugs and extra warm embraces from afar…
Posted by Aunt Susan | October 24, 2013, 11:33 amMara, you are doing incredibly well! Can’t believe you actually managed to blog only 3 days after your surgery. Way to kick cancer’s ass, girlfriend! I know it’s tough having to depend on people to do your “personal work” for you, but it’s only for a few days and then you can get back to being your independent self. Hug your mom and Jake for me…I look forward to meeting him sometime soon. He sounds like an extraordinary man…an excellent partner for you, you extraordinary woman!
Hugs! (gently!!!)
Gail
Posted by Gail | October 24, 2013, 4:26 pmOH Mara, it is good to hear from you. Pain management, where there was no pain before, is quite a shock, for sure. I hope it subsides soon and some of those hoses and bags and tubes will be gone
as well. Wonderful that Jake and your mom and Janice can be with you and help care for you.
Love,
Bea
Posted by Bea North | October 24, 2013, 5:44 pmDear Mara, so far I haven’t written anything, (Bob has done all the communicating), but I just want you to know that I have been very tuned in to your blogs and just now what you have written about your experience with this heinous thing. My heart is with you dear girl. I just want to express how impressed I am with your bravery and you ability to express yourself with such candor and intelligence not to mention — creatively. Life is so precious and your still have so many wonderful things to experience that existence has to offer. All the good will come to you and make up for this, yucky twist of fait. We are so thankful that you are feeling the love and caring of your family who are near you. Please know that we too, are thinking of you. So sorry we can’t take the pain away. Love, Sharon
Posted by sharon sampon | October 24, 2013, 11:23 pm